Communal Grief Retreat

Saturday, February 28th, 2026
9:30 am - 6:00 pm
Beaches United Church
Toronto, Ontario
Facilitated by Mila Redwood & Michael McCarthy

We aren’t meant to grieve alone. All of us come from a lineage of ancestors who, in their own unique ways, came together to grieve communally. In many traditional cultures, tending grief collectively was often the “glue” that held communities together. By grieving in a communal space, we can metabolize our sorrows into fertile ground, making way for a renewed sense of connection, belonging, and joy.

Grief is as natural a part of being human as joy, and honours the losses of what we loved: family, friends, jobs, relationships, situations, etc. Many of us are also grieving collectively for the planet, for humanity, and for those things that we expected in life but did not receive. Grief has many shapes and forms, and we will come together to honour the vast spectrum of what grief can be. 

Part workshop, part ritual, this gathering will blend song, poetry, deep listening, simple movement, humour, and compassionate presence to allow our sorrows to find their way to a renewed sense of connection, belonging, and joy. By creating a community of care and understanding together, through our heartful attention to each other, we will prepare the way for grief to move through us and to mysteriously create the courageous passageways for us to carry on.

Our day together will build towards an afternoon grief ritual. Throughout the day, we’ll use Community Singing as a tool to connect with our personal and collective grief. There will also be time for personal reflection and individual sharing in the group as a whole. After lunch, we’ll share in the creation of a grief altar, a place of beauty and meaning that will hold our sorrows during the afternoon ritual. After the ritual, we will come together to integrate and harvest the stories from our experience.

Moving into a communal grief tending space means that we might touch the edges of our wild sorrow, our rage at injustice, or might feel a familiar childhood fear as another participant touches on their grief. Safety is something that we will talk about to establish codes of conduct with one another, and safety might be something you consider before attending: when someone expresses their sorrow or rage, how can I stay connected to myself and my experience?

This retreat is open to all genders, and people who are 18 years of age and more. Bring a water bottle, journal, pen, and your beautiful selves. Please know that you are welcome however you are – tired and weary, full of sorrow or anger, hopeful and grateful, or anywhere in between. No singing experience is required.

Facilitators

Mila Redwood is a Community Song Leader, Mother, and the Founder of Sing for Joy in Toronto. Mila uses song as a tool for building community, for restoring our sense of belonging and connection in a fragmented world. In 2014, she went to her first community grief ritual that was held by her mentor, Laurence Cole. In that one night of singing, sharing, witnessing, and wailing, she came to understand the profound healing that’s possible when we come together to tend our sorrows in community. Since then, she has attended over 20 community grief rituals with Laurence, as both a participant and helper, and is grateful for the way that these spaces bring us home to a renewed sense of aliveness and joy.

Michael McCarthy is a Registered Social Worker, Therapist, Nature Connection Mentor, and Father. Michael seeks to co-create spaces that foster safety, vulnerability, and courage through compassionate presence. As a participant and helper in various grief rituals and Indigenous ceremonies, Michael is struck by the strength of community and the simple truth that we need each other. Sharing grief in community grants us the permission to see the beauty in the falling apart, the presence in the questions, and the grace in not knowing where my next step might take me.

Together, Mila and Michael have been holding community grief rituals in Ontario since 2019. Prior to that, they were mentored by Laurence Cole in facilitating community grief rituals, and have completed a 5-month grief ritual training program with Francis Weller. The lineage of these rituals stems from the work and legacy of Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé, Francis Weller, Joanna Macy, and Martin Prechtel.

If you would like to listen to an interview with Mila and Michael where they speak about community grief rituals, you can listen and read this article from Trent Radio.

Schedule of our Day

9:30 am - 10:00 am: Arrival, settle in, and drink some tea

10:00 am - 1:00 pm: Opening Circle and Morning Session

1:00 pm - 2:00 pm: Lunch Break

2:00 pm - 6:00 pm: Afternoon Session and Closing Circle

Location

We are fortunate to hold this gathering in the stunning and spacious Main Hall of the Beach United Church. Located in the east end of Toronto, this space is renowned as one of the most beautiful gathering spaces in the city. Together, we’ll gather in this warm and welcoming sanctuary for a day of tending our grief in community.

Beach United Church is accessible by public transit, and has a Green P parking lot on site. For those who are coming from out of town, there are a number of AirBnbs in the neighbourhood. The Main Hall is wheelchair accessible. Please let us know if you have any additional accessibility needs.

Cost & Registration

Price per person: $175 Regular / $195 Supporter / $155 Supported (plus sales tax)

Tiered pricing is available for this retreat, so that those of us with more can share, and those of us who could use some support can receive it.

This price includes:

• Facilitated group sessions throughout the day

• Tea, coffee, and an afternoon home-baked snack. Please bring your own lunch.

• A beautiful space to relax, connect, and unwind

• A “basket” of songs to return home with

If it would be helpful to have a brief phone conversation, to determine whether this retreat is the right fit for you, you’re welcome to contact Michael at: pathofbelonging@gmail.com.

If the tiered prices are a barrier for you, please email mila@singforjoy.ca for a possible work exchange or partial scholarship.

Cancellation & Refund Policy:

• A refund will be issued if notice is received by January 25th, minus a $20 admin fee. After January 25th, your registration is non-refundable, but it is transferable. This means that you can transfer your spot to another person, and be reimbursed for your payment. If we do not have a waiting list, it is the responsibility of the participant to find someone with whom you can transfer your spot.

• For those who are travelling from out of town for this retreat, please note that we are not able to cover any costs incurred by participants for transportation or accommodations. As such, please organize your travel with this in mind.

• If the retreat is cancelled by the hosts, you will receive a full refund.

Colds, Flus, & Covid

Tending our grief communally can be a vulnerable process, and we want to make the space as safe as possible, emotionally and physically, for us to tend our grief together. Here are some ways that we will do that:

• In an effort to keep everyone healthy, we ask that you stay home if you are sick, or have tested positive for covid in the five days before, or have had an exposure with someone who has tested positive in the past five days.

• The Beach United Church is equipped with an air purifier, and windows that will be cracked open for ventilation.

• Masking is optional and welcome. For the purpose of creating a strong container for our day together, Mila and Michael will not be wearing masks.

• As we continue to navigate these post-pandemic times, we warmly encourage everyone to check in with each other before hugging, hand shakes, and even close-talking. We all come with different comfort levels, and we trust that we can navigate this terrain together throughout our day.

Words from Past Participants…

“Michael and Mila held space for this ritual with such tenderness, warmth, caring and beauty. I found it to be a heartbreaking day, but also a deeply grounding and nourishing one. It feels like overwhelmingly necessary work for me personally, and for many at this cultural moment. I am profoundly grateful to have begun to undertake this apprenticeship of grief in community.” - Samantha Mansfield

“Mila and Michael, and their supportive team, create an incredible container in which participants can practice being held and holding space in the rhythm of inclusive ritual. Their attentiveness to the moment and ability to root the practice in its various lineages was comforting, and allowed me to deepen into my own and the collective’s grieving. More than ever, I’m convinced grieving is our way forward together. The offering they shared feels like a passageway to social change and repair, building new futures together as humans intimately related to this earth.” - Mollie Coles Tonn

“Spending the day exploring grief in community, with Mila and Michael as our guides, was a truly beautiful experience. I can only say it is a blessing to have people committed to offering these opportunities, and to those willing to do the work. It is good, it is hard, and it brings me joy.” - Kerith Paul

We respectfully acknowledge the stewardship of these lands by the Anishinaabe, Haudenosaunee, and Wendat First Nations who through mutual treaty have cared for these lands since time immemorial. Since joining this treaty relationship in 1805, the Mississaugas of the Credit have formally been part of this care. We strive to learn to recognize our part in the ongoing history of colonization, and to understand how our community can work towards reconciliation, repair, and uplifting indigenous values and traditions.